"Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings." (Samuel Johnson)

CONFIDENCE. Noun. 1. Full trust; belief, trustworthiness or reliability of a person or thing. 2. Belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance. 3. Certitude; assurance.

Having confidence in others means trusting them to honor a bargain, believing they will act appropriately in a given situation, and being certain they will act in a such a way that will encourage reliability. Having confidence in ourself means trusting our values and taking responsibility for what our deeds and words. Unfortunately, trust isn't something that comes easy, not in others, nor in ourselves. Like respect, trust must be earned, and once earned, it must be maintained or it will be lost.

When a person has confidence in themself, it means they are comfortable with who and what they are, and the position they hold in the world. Confident people aren't generally threatened by the success of another, nor are they in constant need of reassurance. A self-reliant individual knows their worth, and need not rely upon the opinion of others to define themselves. Having self-confidence means they can act on their own recognizance, and have no problem with others doing the same. When a person is self-assured, they enjoy healthy competition with others, but are seldom jealous if someone else wins the prize.

Confidence is a good quality in a leader, but self-confident people are generally as comfortable following as they are leading.

Having confidence in others is more difficult, but not impossible, especially if those people exhibit confidence in themselves. Yet there is an element of acceptance which must be attainted before such trust can exist. It is far easier to trust others when we trust ourselves. Placing trust in others means having enough confidence we need not be threatened by their leadership skills. Belief in ourselves makes it easier to recognize similar qualities in others. What need for envy or jealousy when we know our worth? When we are self-reliant, it's much easier to have confidence in someone else's ability to lead and to succeed.

A lack of confidence defeats no foe, wins no battle and destroys more than it builds. Little or no self-reliance paves the riad for doubt and for fear. That insidious poison erodes our trust in others, and lets jealousy, greed and discontent into our hearts. We not only lose faith in others, but in ourselves. When there is no belief in the self, there can be no belief in others. Someone with no self-confidence sees enemies at each intersection, and attacks waiting around each corner. It makes a person weak and afraid. We cower when we should charge; we sit idle when we should act. We are timid when we should be bold. Those who lack confidence in themselves are quick to cast doubt on others and sow seeds of discontent.

Taken to the opposite extreme, over-confidence leads to selfishness, and a need for constant admiration. Over-confident people often do things just to be noticed. Their focus is self-gratification. When their needs are not fulfilled, they grow sullen, angry and petty. Over-confident people are reckless; they feel no need to exercise restraint or caution. They can make mistakes. Over-confidence means reacting not acting, and reactions are often more negative than positive. An over-confident person sees no need for courtesy or common sense, and runs roughshod over others in their rush to be the center of attention. Over-confident people are first to cry "foul" if their ideas are not used, or they don't hold an important position.

Therefore, moderation is paramount. We must find a balance, and be comfortable in who and what we are. When we find balance, it means no more need for constant reassurance or admiration. It means we can trust ourselves, and trust in others. It also means it's easier for us to support the ideas others. With confidence will come our victory.

"The confidence which we have in ourselves gives birth to much of that which we have in others." (La Rochefoucauld)