"Our privileges can be no greater than our obligations. The protection of our rights can endure no longer than the performance of our responsibilities." (John F. Kennedy, speech, 19 May 63)

Noblesse Oblige.

The first recorded use of the phrase was in Honoré de Balzac's book "Le Lys dans la vallée", written in 1835 and published in 1836. It was also recorded in an 1837 letter from F. A. Kemble: “To be sure, if ‘noblesse oblige,’ royalty must do so still more.”

It was supposedly from Medieval times, and generally implied that with wealth, power and prestige came a certain level of social responsibility. Noblesse Oblige reputedly meant that kings, princes and emperors were obligated to treat those of lesser rank with a modicum of respect, to uphold them, defend them, and protect their rights. Admittedly, the phrase was also used derisively, in the sense of condscending, patronising or hypocritical social responsibility. Today, Noblesse Oblige is more broadly applied to those capable helping others, usually those who are less fortunate. Perhaps it is best translated to mean ignoring your social position, and treating others with the simple respect they are due. This is particularly important for leaders. No matter what position they hold, they must always treat others as they wish to be treated themselves.

Respting others is important both on and off-line.

Respect is a two-way street. If someone wishes to be treated respectfully, they must, in turn, treat others the same, particularly if they hold a leadership position. Respect doesn't automatically come with authority, it must be earned -- and it can be lost in a matter of moments. Leaders should never denegrate others, even should they disagree. Leaders should always respect other people's opinions, consider their ideas, and be willing to accept views other than their own, especially if that leader is hopeful of receiving the same in kind. Those who lead groups, whether a country or an online forum, should always practice Noblesse Oblige, otherwise they run the risk of losing the very respect they crave.

Partnered with respect is responsibility. We are all responsible for what we do and say. Accepting responsibility comes with maturity, and it's not an easy lesson to be learned. When we accept responsibility for our words and deeds, we show the world we are worthy of respect. Leaders, in particular, should always accept responsibility for what they do and say. They must realize they are human and can make mistakes. Leaders should never take for granted that others will follow them simply because they are chosen for a position. People follow leaders they respect and can trust. A true leader will never take another person for granted, or ignore the voice of their constituents. As is so often said, "With great power comes great responsibility," and to be a leader means earning the respect they would have others give them.

In an online forum, it is imperative we treat others with respect, otherwise, there are flamewars and hurt feelings. Disagreement with another person should never give license for nasty, threatening emails that border on blackmail! There should be no heated arguement or name calling. A disagreement between two people should be no more than a respectful exchange of ideas, with both sides willing to accept what the other has to say. Debate issues, don't argue them. Attack ideas, not people. Leaders, in particular, should use common sense when posting, and NEVER post when angry or upset. Be courteous, be respectful. Acting responsibly means accepting not everyone agrees, nor is everyone correct. Everyone should remember words can hurt as much as weapons. Stop and think before hitting the enter key. Acting in a reasonable, mature manner is one of the quickest, surest ways of earning the respect from everyone.

Most of us would like to see the various forums be pleasant, enjoyable places where we can discuss JERICHO and express ourselves without fear of being castigated or flamed. It's much more fun sharing thoughts, ideas, jokes and discussions when we are treated with respect by our peers. It only takes a moment to exercise restraint, and put the Three Cs (Courtesy, Common Sense & Communication) and the Two Rs )(Respect & Responsibility) into practice. Treating one another respectfully increases the likelihood of a forum remaining a warm, friendly online community. The choice is up to all of us, but we can the healing process by accepting responsibility for our words and deeds, and improve the quality of our participation on the message boards. In that way do we each prove ourselves worthy of everyone's respect.

"As an officer, you demand a great deal of your men. But they, in fact, demand much more of you. If you let down one of your Marines, you are letting down the entire Corps. Noblesse oblige is the private motto of every officer of Marines." (Ken Estes, The Marine Corps Officer's Guide)